For months I have buried myself in client work and deliberately walked away from writing. Yes, most of the work that I do as a communication specialist is writing, but it was easier writing for others, than sharing my bare thoughts. That vulnerability which I revelled in for years; for the past few months started to steadily fade away. I have gone through these cycles for years. The highs of writing relentlessly for years and then end up barely piecing two sentences together for another few months to a year.
When I write it’s not just because I want people to read it, like, comment and share. When I write it’s because I care about something enough to say something. The phases I went through earlier where I had fits and starts in my writing always revolved around two things. I was jaded because no one seemed to be reading my articles; especially friends and family. In other cases, I just felt my articles, however well researched, never seemed to yield any tangible impact. It was completely discouraging.
Lately caring about things has been difficult. It takes time and energy, and with the chaos of 2020, it was just easier to focus on ensuring I had money to live. I stopped reading and staying abreast with the news because it is just hard to see things constantly going the wrong way.
I have been dancing whether to get back to writing the past 2 months and as I did so, I resumed reading, mostly fiction and autobiographies. I also started staying abreast with international news through the late-night comedians to not get too overwhelmed. I wasn’t too convinced to get started yet, but tables started to slowly turn.
The compulsion to say something slowly awoke in me, I started engaging in verbal conversations with friends who would constantly call me out for not writing about what I feel. I realised I actually did care, and no matter how much I suppressed the urge to write, the pressure was building, the constant downward exertion of the need to write has steadily burst into this initial post.
I was to write this yesterday, but I did what many of us do when we are hesitant to do what we need to do, procrastinate. And how better to procrastinate than watch short clips on YouTube! I soon found myself watching videos of President Obama when he was still in the White House.
There was a video clip of one of his last press conferences in the White House. There were student journalists among the White House Press corp. One student journalist asked the President how to fight cynicism in the political system. This resulted in a 10-minute response by the President.
What he said wasn’t new. But there is something President Obama said that really got to me,
“This system (democracy) doesn’t work if people opt-out.”
You can watch the whole video here
Kenya angers me in so many ways, and it drives me up the wall that we have relegated the country’s future to an agenda of greed led by myopic politicians. I may not run for public office or work in government, but I have a role to play to help our fragmenting country.
I choose to not “opt-out”, I will play my part and write and share my opinion. As they say, “it’s all hands on deck,”. My hands will be typing as I contribute in my little way to shift the tide of this nation, and also find my sanity through these awkward times we live in.
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