The first day of gym ended in an awkward revival of energy I didn’t even know I would have left on Friday evening. I haven’t gymed in almost 10 years, I was more drawn to Zumba for the past couple of years which ground to a halt about 4 years ago. I tried to get back on track but I started to make excuses and that went up in smoke.

I am exiting the youth bracket and it’s becoming more apparent that I do need to stay healthy and care for myself. I paid for a gym membership on Monday gritting my teeth as I parted with the cash, not because of the cost; this was now a commitment. Since June I have been gym searching, it wasn’t that aggressive, I tried to substitute the search with swimming, which I failed to be consistent at. I knew I needed a compulsion to stay committed, so I paid for an initial month to start two days later. I needed to mentally psyche up.

Three days later, I walked into the gym and tried to focus on the positive. In my defence I had to work late, that’s why it took an extra day to start. I kicked off with 30 minutes of cardio and yes, 151 calories were burnt in 30 minutes on the treadmill. I don’t care about that, I was just glad I could move.

Then the workout routines I did, started off with relentless thirst surging through my mouth and throat and a burning session in my thighs. Jumping jacks (star jumps as we called them when I was in Primary and High School) rendered my legs noodles. My body was rejecting my direction, it took a life of its own. I was getting dizzy with what is basic movement. My thighs and tummy burned, then my heart raced so fast at some point I almost threw up on the gym floor from nausea.

I couldn’t believe what was going on. The instructor was gracious with me, I did give him my work out history. But I know in the coming weeks as my body revives from the shock of being compelled to exercise the instructor will reign in on me.

Parts of my body were literally high fiving each other as I moved, the layers of fat, it’s one thing to look at yourself in the mirror it’s another to feel it “clap” together when you are jumping. There was a moment I genuinely almost walked out of the gym but I reminded myself there really is no escape. It’s for my own good, it took years to get me to this point, and I can gradually work my way out. I know I do need to work on my diet as well.

I know this is all obvious, but in most cases, you always need to physically be put in a place where you are forced to face yourself and choose to do the right thing for yourself. Here’s to choosing what’s best for me!


Day 2 of the gym was Saturday, I am never up early on Saturday unless I need to travel or something super important. This Saturday I was up just before 8 to enjoy a 40-minute workout on the treadmill. I was proud of myself, I showed myself that I just need to keep my head in the game. Consistency always wins the day and I do miss being super flexible and energetic all the time. Sunday was a chill day to let my muscles recuperate, my thighs are kind of stiff but I will live. I am trying to celebrate another day in the gym.

Right now it’s my attitude that will keep me disciplined.  It’s the discipline that will keep me going not the motivation. I am not aiming to lose weight or fit in a dress, I just want to be healthy and right now, discipline is all I have to get and keep me there.