Posted on 16th July 2018 2

It has been a whirlwind the past two weeks I haven’t written or read fiction in weeks, not good. Work has taken centre stage and that normally becomes a concern for me. I constantly remind myself that it is essential to fight for time for Rose so I can relax and also do something for me, which in most cases is writing and other fun stuff I have never done. I managed to enjoy a spa treatment this weekend, thanks to my pal Patrick for the phenomenal recommendation.

It was nice to treat myself for the first time ever to a spa treatment. For so long I wrote a long list of things I would do for myself when I got time, money or the right place. But now I am in Dar I decided I would care for myself and learn to give myself a chance. Have dinner, have the wine, read the book, just do it. I am learning to say “Yes to Rose.” This is still a learning curve.

I am learning to see myself through a different mirror, a mirror of love and grace and not judgment and self-loathing. I am learning to trust myself more. And more so, to learn to see myself the way God sees me. I am flawed, who isn’t? But like what I learned from a Jon Courson sermon. It’s about focusing on what I have and using it. It’s that one thing that offers the constant propulsion knowing that, that’s all that God needs me to use and trust him with the rest.

I keep reminding myself that God is one who qualifies me not man.

I am grateful for every day, though I am mentally tired every evening. It is actually a miracle I am not in Zombie mode right now. By this 9. 30 pm I am mostly fiddling with my phone on social media or watching TV, in an attempt to empty my head; I realise now that only makes things worse. Tonight after work I decided to go to the Ocean. My body had been craving to see the waves and hear the sound of the Indian Ocean crash on the cliffs and my Lord! It soothed my soul. I recorded some of it on my phone. The video is kind of dark, but I will go back during the daytime and share some more video.

I have been replaying conversations I had with friends about the need to start a new leaf. Go to a space that compels me to not only find and explore the best version of myself but also learn and become the woman I was meant to be and I am enjoying the journey. That’s all for now, I will be back to share more of this journey with you!